Holy Shit, We just Ate 30 Grams Of Shrooms.
We are such champs.

I don't know if 30 G's of zoomers seems like a lot to you, but it does to me. I've only ever done 2.5 or 3.5 dosages before this, so you can see why I'd think it's a lot. So here's what happened. This story is shitty. The situation herein is a bad one, but it should at least serve as a cautionary signal to those out there that may not know.

A while back, about last year XM decided it was time for her to try shrooms. She'd never done any psychedelics before so I agreed to help her get them even though I was unsure if I wanted to do them again. Last time I did them I had an awful time, shrooms and I don't normally get along unfortunately. It was hard to find them at first. I went to my friend Sinkrag for help and he set me up with his usual guy. The usual guy didn't have any at first and said he'd get back to me the next day. The next day to my surprise, he actually got back to me. Usually, within my experiences when a dealer says he'll get back to you it means he's going to quickly forget about you and go on with his life as if you never asked. The next day he asked how much I wanted and I said to give me 60 bucks worth, which is enough for two people to get messed up nice and good . He came back with the offer: 100 bucks for 30 grams. That's a wicked ass deal, usually they go for 30-40 per every 3 grams where I'm from. I had a hesitant moment because it seemed fishy but Sinkrag approved of the deal and so did XM so I went for it. The dealer is a reliable guy, I was told. He had never screwed me before so I felt the deal was legit, and Sinkrag thought highly of him too. I still do I guess. When he got to my house he handed me a big bag of mushrooms and I gave him the cash, both he and Sinkrag agreed that they should get us pretty fucked up. This erased any thoughts of the shrooms being shitty.

The shrooms themselves were brown and dried to a crisp and had nearly no smell. They were all somewhat circular too, if you ever get shrooms like this you might want to question their integrity. A few times the thought crossed my mind that they were duds but I kept dismissing it because I didn't want it to be true. I was elated to have so much zoomers . I ended up inviting Macsnob over to enjoy some of them for XM's first time. We did about 3.0 each. We were pretty happy, we were talking about how awesome shrooms are and all the fun shit we were gonna do that night. An hour passed by and nothing had happened yet. I'm sure you know where this is leading. Since they didn't have any effect we each did 2.0 grams more, and still nothing happened. We started to try to figure out why they weren't working. None of us could accept that we got fucked. I didn't even know it was possible to get fucked with shrooms. We went for a walk in the hopes that they might kick in. They didn't. So we ate more of them until I was at 10 grams and the others were at around 6. Still nothing happened so we started eating them down like snack food. Nothing happened at all. I felt absolutely nothing. XM said she felt a little like everyone sucked, like the way she feels on psychedelics sometimes but that's it. Eventually we got near the end of the sack o' shrooms and just couldn't eat them anymore. I think I was heading on to 15 of the 30 at this point. We went to the store and bought some ice cream and ground up the shrooms into it. At least the ice cream was decent. Sinkrag heard that we got boned and tried the shrooms for himself, and so did Cellbro, my other friend who was visiting at the time. They didn't feel anything either and we had officially eaten all 30 as a team.

Some positive things about this situation are; 1: XM got lots of practice eating shrooms. 2: maybe by me writing this it will prevent it from happening to someone else. 3: Learned a lesson the hard way. 4: We can brag and say we ate 30 grams of shrooms and it will seem awesome so long as we don't tell anyone the truth. That's about it. After we had eaten them all XM got cranky and started a fight with me at the end and Macsnob ended up walking home at 3AM.

The dealer that fucked us is an undeniable scumbag and the perfect example of the shittiest of human beings. Dealers, along with most shitty people will fuck you over if they don't know you. Watch out. Most people already know this lesson, but by no means am I an expert at purchasing shrooms, so I got fucked. I thought that Sinkrag would be able to protect me from a shitty deal because he's had more experience, but he was tricked as well. So the moral is: Don't trust anyone. Ever, especially humans, but even more especially; humans who sell drugs. Maintain a doubting attitude and don't get caught up in the excitement of getting shrooms. You have to not forget you're dealing with criminals, and that you're a criminal too.

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